We Need Each Other

I remember the day I heard about Columbine.  My youth group was a buzz about the Christians who stood for their faith in literal the face of death.  The bravery of these students was incredible to me, but a thought always haunted me…where were the Christians before the tragedy?  I do not blame them for this tragedy.  I remember high school well and I wouldn’t have been the kid to run up to an outsider and tell them that God loves them.  I was not always a friend to the friendless.  I just wonder…if someone would have shown those students the true, pure love of Christ would it have changed anything? 

I guess that’s always my thought in light of tragedy in which someone troubled snaps.  Where were we?  Did we miss an opportunity? 

Working at a large church, I know the ends and outs of peoples’ lives.  It is shocking the amount of stress and tragedy that folks cover up with a smile weekly.  There are so many people, like the shooters in Columbine, who stuff years of abuse, bullying, and stress deep down within them.  Obviously it is very rare that folks ever take it out in such a violent, sick way…but we see the product of these stresses every day.  We hear of 20 year marriages crumbling, adultery, divorce, domestic violence, substance abuse, cutting, and more.  So many times we find out these things are going on and say, “I never saw that coming.”

Our heavenly father created us to be in community with one another.  We need each other.  It may sound too simple to many, but I think so many of our problems would be alleviated by being involved in a supportive, like-minded community.  I am not saying that being in a small group is going to end world hunger, but I do think that having someone to call can help you step back from a ledge or put down the bottle.  Community and accountability are the staples of programs such as AA, NA, OA, Weight Watchers, and more.

You can create community in many ways.  You can join a small group, (most churches provide some sort of group program).  You can find a mentor.  (Just look for someone a step ahead of you in life who is where you want to be and ask them to coffee.)  You can find community through friends that you do life with.  (Just make sure your faith and values line up.)  However you do it, just do it.  We need each other.

“Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Ecclesiastes. 4:9-12

Everyone Needs That Person

As someone who leads a small group, I believe really strongly in the importance of community.  We all need people in our corner.  We need a friend to cry with us, a friend to rejoice with, a friend who will pray for us, and (cause I’m a girl) a friend to shop with.  I want to add something onto this list, though.  We all need a friend who challenges us.  We need someone in our lives who makes us want to be a little better.  Some friends motivate us by simply living their life in a stellar way.  We see it and want to strive to be like that too.  Others verbalize their challenge on our lives.  They call us out or hold us accountable.

My husband has a friend that falls in this category.  Every time he hangs out with this guy, I notice my husband change for the better.  He’ll go grab wings with the guy and the next day I’ll see him jumping into the word and asking folks if he can pray for them.  Yesterday he grabbed lunch with this dude and came home with a juicer, talking about how he wanted to improve his health and break his family history of diabetes.

Those thoughts were always in my husband, he just needed someone to challenge him to rise up and be that person.  He needed someone who didn’t share his last name telling him that he could do it.

We all need that person.

Who is that person for you?