The Super Adoption and Life Update

So, I realize that I haven’t caught you all up on what exactly has been going on. So, lets’ make this snappy!

For those who missed it:

• We wanted to start a family
• We conceived a lost a son named Liam
• My body went crazy after the miscarriage and I was diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” AKA “we don’t know what the heck is going on either, but we can pretend to help by giving you Clomid.”
• After a year and a half of waiting, I felt like God told me that we should adopt first and birth second. (Adoption was already on the table but for later in life.) My husband surprisingly was on board. (He hates change but God had been prompting him too.)
• After a lot of research, we decided to be a Foster/Adopt family in January. We went through training and home studied and completed our portion on stuff in the middle of June and waited for approval.

…and to catch you up:

• We received “Ben” on August 3^rd…two weeks later we received our approval letter. (Apparently we were approved in the computer system but hadn’t been notified.)

• We are currently part of a dual case plan. Ben’s mother is currently being offered her last chance at reunification. They don’t have a lot of confidence in her, so they placed him with us so that we could adopt him quickly and he wouldn’t have to transition anymore.
• We quickly recognized that Ben needed more care than we could give him with our busy lives…so I full time ministry (almost 7 years on staff at this church) to stay at home with him. I picked up a part time afternoon job that isn’t ministry related. It was a big move but one that I felt like God was prompting me to do.

What’s actually going on with the case: Well, that’s a hard question. Ben’s mom has only shown up at ¼ meetings required and has not formally received a case plan due to her absences. They keep reaching out to her and she does not respond. Our next court date is at the end of January. I am honestly praying that her lack of cooperation leads to an early termination of parental rights (TPR). So, praying friends, please join us in prayer for a speedy TPR and adoption process. (The minimum time is 13 months but this could drag out for as long as 24 months.)

How I am feeling: This is the weirdest time in my life but I feel that I am 100% led by the Holy Spirit. This is not the story that I would have chosen write but it is His story for me. I choose to trust Him. I would NEVER have seen myself staying at home. I am a career woman, dang it! I run with the boys! However, I am having a wonderful time as a mommy to this little one. He feels like he was supposed to be with us the whole time. I am learning more and more every day what it is to live a life dependent on the Lord (many times leaning on Him for sanity when forced to watch yet another episode of Harry the Bunny!)

So, that’s what has been going on in my absence.  I actually had to give back my beautiful laptop when left the church, but after some saving and shopping I am back in business and more posts will be coming soon!

We Need Each Other

I remember the day I heard about Columbine.  My youth group was a buzz about the Christians who stood for their faith in literal the face of death.  The bravery of these students was incredible to me, but a thought always haunted me…where were the Christians before the tragedy?  I do not blame them for this tragedy.  I remember high school well and I wouldn’t have been the kid to run up to an outsider and tell them that God loves them.  I was not always a friend to the friendless.  I just wonder…if someone would have shown those students the true, pure love of Christ would it have changed anything? 

I guess that’s always my thought in light of tragedy in which someone troubled snaps.  Where were we?  Did we miss an opportunity? 

Working at a large church, I know the ends and outs of peoples’ lives.  It is shocking the amount of stress and tragedy that folks cover up with a smile weekly.  There are so many people, like the shooters in Columbine, who stuff years of abuse, bullying, and stress deep down within them.  Obviously it is very rare that folks ever take it out in such a violent, sick way…but we see the product of these stresses every day.  We hear of 20 year marriages crumbling, adultery, divorce, domestic violence, substance abuse, cutting, and more.  So many times we find out these things are going on and say, “I never saw that coming.”

Our heavenly father created us to be in community with one another.  We need each other.  It may sound too simple to many, but I think so many of our problems would be alleviated by being involved in a supportive, like-minded community.  I am not saying that being in a small group is going to end world hunger, but I do think that having someone to call can help you step back from a ledge or put down the bottle.  Community and accountability are the staples of programs such as AA, NA, OA, Weight Watchers, and more.

You can create community in many ways.  You can join a small group, (most churches provide some sort of group program).  You can find a mentor.  (Just look for someone a step ahead of you in life who is where you want to be and ask them to coffee.)  You can find community through friends that you do life with.  (Just make sure your faith and values line up.)  However you do it, just do it.  We need each other.

“Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Ecclesiastes. 4:9-12

Seeing God in the Mess

Life is a mess right now.  For the last month, it has been almost daily that someone has shared a burden they carry with me.  Everywhere I turn people are hurting.  From marriages to children and work situations, I have heard so many stories.  I add this onto my own personal loss that I am still recovering from and it feels like too much.  I can’t process how so many followers of Christ can live in such chaos at one time.  Tonight I was staring into the mess, trying to see Christ in the clutter and it was so hard.  I just kept running out of prayers to pray, so I starting looking up scripture and found this:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you…Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 2: 1-4 & 7

What stands out to me is that the scripture doesn’t over a remedy to the test.  I think that’s our natural inclination when challenged.  How do we get rid of this?  What steps to do we take?  On the contrary, it challenges you to persevere and, if you need something else, you can ask for wisdom to understand what you’re going through.  So, I suppose that’s what I need, Lord.  Give me wisdom.  I want to see you in this mess and find it beautiful.